{"id":4214,"date":"2025-09-14T07:23:44","date_gmt":"2025-09-14T10:23:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.djamilaribeiro.com.br\/?p=4214"},"modified":"2025-09-14T08:21:33","modified_gmt":"2025-09-14T11:21:33","slug":"opinion-djamila-ribeiro-envy-resentment-and-morality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.djamilaribeiro.com.br\/en\/opinion-djamila-ribeiro-envy-resentment-and-morality\/","title":{"rendered":"Opinion – Djamila Ribeiro: Envy, Resentment and Morality"},"content":{"rendered":"

Originally published in Folha de S. Paulo<\/a> on August 7, 2025<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in S\u00e3o Lu\u00eds, the capital of Maranh\u00e3o, staying at a seaside hotel, writing this piece while gazing out over the vastness that absorbs my thoughts. Everything seems so small compared to the tide.<\/p>\n

I seek a way to treat the sea as feminine, as in the French language: la mer<\/em>. I draw from Brazilian Candombl\u00e9, which worships Iemanj\u00e1, the mother of all fish and all heads, the origin of the saltwater ecosystem, home to many life forms. Iemanj\u00e1 guides the answers we seek and speaks to us through the sound of the waves and the infinite blue.<\/p>\n

I prefer the French version of the sea and find myself reflecting on how words and their genders can either confirm or subvert logic. In that sense, one word that feels uncomfortable in the feminine is envy<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Not that women are immune\u2014far from it. In fact, framing women as envious is a clich\u00e9 in many analyses. However, considering that women are socially disadvantaged and face reduced opportunities to reach positions of power, they often have to compete for the single spot available. When one succeeds, others envy her\u2014not because they are inherently jealous, but because they also wish to be in that position and know there are few opportunities to go around.<\/p>\n

Freud once said that women envy the penis. Decades later, Beauvoir countered that it wasn\u2019t the penis itself but the privileges attached to it that provoke envy.<\/p>\n

As feminists, we know well how far a man might go when he lacks something he wants\u2014or when he resents seeing a woman he desired being happy instead of crying. When a woman is seen as an object of possession, as happens daily across Brazil, the stage is set for tragedy. Historically, men have killed, raped, and sabotaged out of envy. And they still do.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, a word that feels appropriately masculine in Portuguese is rancor<\/em> (resentment)\u2014a powerful driver of frustration that turns into hatred. Iemanj\u00e1 reappears in my thoughts and reminds me of the ordeals women endure in the workplace when their boss desires them and receives a \u201cno.\u201d If the woman is in a relationship or interested in another man in the group, multiple feelings emerge: envy toward the \u201clucky\u201d man and resentment toward the woman for rejecting him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re either mine or no one\u2019s,\u201d as many men still say every day. In professional settings\u2014be it a company, public institution, or political party\u2014even when highly competent, women face real calvaries driven by male envy. Lacking hierarchical power in patriarchal structures, they are often powerless to respond appropriately.<\/p>\n

Moreover, many women face strategic difficulties in responding, as the process of being undermined can be colorless, tasteless, and yet insidious and deeply painful. Hard to prove, easy to feel. Incidentally, harassment<\/em> is another word that fits the masculine form well.<\/p>\n

Women in leadership positions face another scenario\u2014one we\u2019ll explore in another text. It\u2019s worth saying that any analysis based on power logic assumes that there are no saints among humanity. In other words, not all men or women are perpetrators or victims. But given their privileged position in patriarchal (and racist) systems, men have many tools to reinforce that status quo.<\/p>\n

Corruption is one of them\u2014present at least since the tale of Adam and Eve. Thus, men are well aware they have weapons at their disposal to punish women who say \u201cno\u201d when they believe they should say \u201cyes,\u201d or say \u201cyes\u201d when, in their view, they should have said \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of patriarchy\u2019s oldest weapons is identifying and rewarding women who say \u201cyes\u201d to men\u2014at the expense of those who say \u201cno.\u201d These men, even if terrible, are powerful and thus surround themselves with lovers and beautiful women, \u201crewarding\u201d them with coveted positions obtained through shortcuts. Positions that, of course, are always inferior to the ones they occupy.<\/p>\n

We must stay alert to the traps of patriarchy and understand the many reasons why men will do everything in their power to preserve a system that pits women against each other.<\/p>\n

Rivalry<\/em>, in the feminine, thus sounds like a great irony\u2014one that more accurately represents the conduct of many men in this country.<\/p>\n

Content translated with the assistance of artificial intelligence<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Originally published in Folha de S. Paulo on August 7, 2025 I\u2019m in S\u00e3o Lu\u00eds, the capital of Maranh\u00e3o, staying at a seaside hotel, writing this piece while gazing out over the vastness that absorbs my thoughts. Everything seems so small compared to the tide. I seek a way to treat the sea as feminine, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4344,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[1337,41,1342,1340,1339,438,1341,1338,1343],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nOpinion - Djamila Ribeiro: Envy, Resentment and Morality - Djamila Ribeiro<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Djamila Ribeiro analyzes how envy and resentment operate as patriarchal tools to control and punish women in positions of power.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.djamilaribeiro.com.br\/en\/opinion-djamila-ribeiro-envy-resentment-and-morality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Opinion - Djamila Ribeiro: Envy, Resentment and Morality - 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